She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
