When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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