Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
