The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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