Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Can i not drive my cunt home
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize