So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There r osticjed everywhere
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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