They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
