I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
