He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
