Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
