i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize