I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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