If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
