i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
