the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
