he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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