how can u be prego again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
