I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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