Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I need water and some morals
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
