Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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