Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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