They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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