Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
