So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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