Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
