just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We had sex on a dog bed..
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have peed in a lot of sinks
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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