Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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