So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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