I cannot find my penis.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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