When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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