We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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