I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
