he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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