ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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