Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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