i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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