I'm going to jail i love you
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
