I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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