I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
