Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
