ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
