I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
honey bunches of taint.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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