So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They took my balls.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
