Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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