He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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