Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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