Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
