I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
