What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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