It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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