You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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