He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize