with your own penis?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
