i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
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