Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
