Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
