i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
