so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
