you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
