did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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