His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize