the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
babies were throwing up all over the place
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
