I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
