We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
