if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
